Thank heavens Steve’s curiousity about my crazy idea for Nomad Life inspired him to keep asking questions about the idea. After all, I can’t imagine having a partner who woudn’t want to travel the world. Could you?
He’s a No
Actually, I’ve got a history of partners whose spending habits put travel way at the bottom of the list behind things like NFL games, sails, and new divet markers. I should have known that my first husband would become my ex when a conversation while dating went something like this:
Me: In 2005, I’m taking a year off and traveling the world. I don’t care if I’m married, my career is going gang busters, or I’m broke. I’m headed out into the world as long as I have a device that will
make calls
get email
navigate maps
have a personal defense system embedded
send texts.
Him: I love you and I don’t want to do that.
Me: I’m not sure my device will do all of that. I think number 3 might be difficult.
Him: What if I promised a one-week vacation every year?
Me: Do you think my phone will be able to protect me, like have built-in pepper spray?
Him: And I promise we’ll get on a plane and won’t visit family.
He became an ex after seven years of vacations with family and no plane rides. I’m surprised it lasted that long. But he did get new sails for his boat, season tickets to the Dolphins, and an entire new set of golf clubs.
Why Spend Money on Travel?
The relationship I had before I met Steve didn’t last long either. We were a few months into it. You know, the point where you start asking each other to define what the relationship would be? Here’s how that conversation went:
Me: If you had $500 that came to you unexpectedly, all your bills were paid, and you had put away your monthly retirement stipend, what would you do with this windfall?
Him: I can’t imagine that happening to me.
Me: I’d take a weekend trip to DC.
Him: Why would you spend money on travel?
We broke up that day.
Share Those Dreams
When I finally met Steve, I wasn’t joking around with the travel thing. I stumbled across his profile on Match.com. His user name was SRQ Cool. I wondered if this was a typo, thinking maybe he was a programmer and talking about SQL. But perhaps he was clever and using the airport code for Sarasota, FL?
I winked at him. He winked back.
I texted him, “What’s your favorite airline?”
And he replied, “Domestic or International?”
Swoon.
Talk through Those Fears
But seriously, how do you convince a loved one to take the plunge into Nomad Life especially when it’s something she or he may never have thought about before?
Just like any other topic in a relationship, you’ve got to talk through it.
Explain your vision.
Engage your passion.
Listen to fears.
Work through each item.
His fears might not be your fears. Her passion might bore you. Together your vision might be blurry.
But keep talking. Come up with a way to tackle Nomad Life in a way that works for both of you.
He Goes This Way. She Goes That Way. They Come Together.
We’ve got travel couple friends that nomad in so many different ways.
One couple: he lives full time in Split, Croatia. His husband does weekend trips around Europe.
Another: he bikes with his dog 6 months a year. She lives on the north shore of Hawaii surrounded by her life-long friends.
Another: she wants to perfect her photography and lives and breathes for the Golden Hour. Her wife sips wine during Happy Hour while she explores architectural gems.
Another: he wants to be “home” at Christmas. In exchange, they go anywhere she wants the rest of the year.
Another: she wants to sail the catamaran in Europe during the summer. She wants to ski the Alps in the winter.
Another: he loves his man cave. She loves her clothes. They keep their house and retreat to it when they need a break from the road.
There’s no right way to nomad, but there is a right way to come together so that you can enjoy a Nomad Life with your partner.
Just. Keep. Talking. You’ll get there.
Steve and I have been married for 14 years. In that time, we’ve visited all 50 states and at least 50 countries together. That hasn’t happened becuase one of us said, “Let’s go to Thailand.” It happened because we created a Travel Manifesto, We Learned to Talk to our Partner about Nomad Life, and we started our relationship knowing that travel would be a big part of our happiness.
What’s your tip for talking to your partner about Nomad Life?
Carry on the conversation with us on our Facebook group, or grab a copy of Wanderlust Wisdom: Journeys of 25 Full-Time Travelers to read about couples, solos, seniors, and digitals who have figured out how to realize their dreams of full-time travel.
"What's your favorite airline?" lol!! What a great way to vet your future partners. This was great, Chris!