My need for travel and my husband’s interest in travel do not align so we’ve decided that I will travel solo. I’m leaving for two months; we’ll see how it goes. I think I will love it.
We’re giving this a try in April - Levon is heading to Florida for some paragliding and I’m headed to South Carolina for time with my sister and nieces before we reconnect in Miami and then board a repositioning cruise to Europe. We’ve had smaller bits of time apart over our almost 30 years together, but mainly for taking care of family members or for work. This will be the first time we do it for fun. It feels like a healthy experiment. Looking forward to hearing more from your and Steve’s experience!
Should you separate temporarily? Absolutely! I did this last year—three months in Australia while my husband stayed home. It was so rewarding to visit places on my own terms without input from anyone else. After going through covid with both of us at home, and now me retired and him still working from home, we needed a break from each other. No matter how much love there is, sometimes you just need a new perspective on everything. Separate travel brings new stories and reflections of life into the relationship. Gives you something else to talk about.
I’m so looking forward to new stories together. Out hiking today, I was thinking about how much he would have enjoyed it…but so glad I was on my own. It was a completely different vibe (not good/bad, just dif.)
Chris, I love this experiment. Five years of 24/7 travel together is a lot of togetherness, even in a very good partnership.
Nigel and I talk about this sometimes too — how full-time travel changes the rhythm of a relationship. When your partner is also your coworker, travel companion, logistics manager, dinner date, and only familiar face in a new place, the bandwidth gets… concentrated.
A month apart with a budget and a reunion date feels like a very healthy design choice rather than a dramatic one.
Also laughing at the Jersey discovery. Only travelers get excited about accidentally adding a country to the list because of a telecom problem.
Curious about something: after just a few days apart, what’s been the biggest difference you’ve noticed in your daily rhythm — quieter mind, different pace, or just eating whatever you want for dinner without negotiating?
Funny you asked about the food part. I'm just completing uninterested in eating. And it's this fact that Im thinking about most, wondering why. 22 days to go. I'll update at the end of the month
Very relatable! One of the very few things that I miss from my working life is the opportunity to be apart from my spouse for at least 8 hours a day, five days a week. I'm being somewhat sarcastic here as we really treasured our new-found time together once we quit the corporate life and started traveling full time. That said, after many years of travel and spending all our time together, we've rediscovered the joy of independent pursuits and catching up with each other after some time apart.
Nick and I often head out on independent journeys but none have been as as long as a month. This year I went on a week-long walking tour of Halifax with a gf while he stayed at our temporary rental. And in December he went up to Lake Como for a week while I went on a Rhine Christmas markets cruise with another gf. The day may come when we take a longer break from one another but right now, neither of us have an interest in longer solo journeys.
I’ve taken a lot of solo trips over the years while partnered (a writing workshop at Atlantic Center for the Arts, a week in a cabin in Massachusetts, a timeshare in Daytona Beach and dozens before my first marriage at the age of 26) but none completely solo since being with Nick. In thinking about it, the fact that we have both had cancer and especially the fact that he’s still living with Stage 4 diagnosis makes me not to miss a single moment with him. And I just like spending time with the guy.
Oh my, I love everything about this!! Travel is so rich and rewarding, and solo travel fills the soul. As someone who is self-employed and can work digitally from anywhere, travel is core to who I am. My husband has flexility, but not as much as me, and it's so important to take trips, even when you go it alone. I look forward to following along! :)
Thanks. While he was still working, I took a 5 month solo trip to South America. But we stayed in almost daily contact, he kept the home fires burning, and we met up in Panama half way through the trip. This is a first of both of us being solo simultaneously without a home base.
Patrick and I split up for a month last July. It was the first time we'd been apart for more than a work trip or few days ever.
Unfortunately, I had a cobblestone accident and broke my shoulder, worse than and on top of having broken it 3 weeks earlier - and had a really rough time, even with the incredible support of a couple of new girlfriends I made.
Verdict: It would have been a really good experience had that not happened. If we ever do it again, it might be for a shorter time.
I have wondered about that side of it. If one of us got hurt, would we know how to access our insurance, our records, etc. We’ve “trained” for this, but haven’t had to put it into action without each other. Hopefully it won’t be necessary. Glad you’re on the mend Iris
My need for travel and my husband’s interest in travel do not align so we’ve decided that I will travel solo. I’m leaving for two months; we’ll see how it goes. I think I will love it.
Do share!
I’ll be writing lots about my travels on The Travel Paradox.
We’re giving this a try in April - Levon is heading to Florida for some paragliding and I’m headed to South Carolina for time with my sister and nieces before we reconnect in Miami and then board a repositioning cruise to Europe. We’ve had smaller bits of time apart over our almost 30 years together, but mainly for taking care of family members or for work. This will be the first time we do it for fun. It feels like a healthy experiment. Looking forward to hearing more from your and Steve’s experience!
Well so far so good. I’m been doing a video journal of each day. I’m looking forward to how it turns out (the video and the experience!)
Should you separate temporarily? Absolutely! I did this last year—three months in Australia while my husband stayed home. It was so rewarding to visit places on my own terms without input from anyone else. After going through covid with both of us at home, and now me retired and him still working from home, we needed a break from each other. No matter how much love there is, sometimes you just need a new perspective on everything. Separate travel brings new stories and reflections of life into the relationship. Gives you something else to talk about.
I’m so looking forward to new stories together. Out hiking today, I was thinking about how much he would have enjoyed it…but so glad I was on my own. It was a completely different vibe (not good/bad, just dif.)
No way. I would miss my hubbies sound advice and guidance. We are a team. When we get on each other’s nerves a day apart is all we do.
Thise days aoart are good, too
Chris, I love this experiment. Five years of 24/7 travel together is a lot of togetherness, even in a very good partnership.
Nigel and I talk about this sometimes too — how full-time travel changes the rhythm of a relationship. When your partner is also your coworker, travel companion, logistics manager, dinner date, and only familiar face in a new place, the bandwidth gets… concentrated.
A month apart with a budget and a reunion date feels like a very healthy design choice rather than a dramatic one.
Also laughing at the Jersey discovery. Only travelers get excited about accidentally adding a country to the list because of a telecom problem.
Curious about something: after just a few days apart, what’s been the biggest difference you’ve noticed in your daily rhythm — quieter mind, different pace, or just eating whatever you want for dinner without negotiating?
Funny you asked about the food part. I'm just completing uninterested in eating. And it's this fact that Im thinking about most, wondering why. 22 days to go. I'll update at the end of the month
That’s fascinating. Sometimes when the mind is processing a big shift, the body just… goes quiet on appetite for a bit.
Almost like it’s busy digesting something else.
I’ll be curious to hear what you notice by the end of the month. These little signals tend to make more sense in hindsight. 💛 Kelly
Very relatable! One of the very few things that I miss from my working life is the opportunity to be apart from my spouse for at least 8 hours a day, five days a week. I'm being somewhat sarcastic here as we really treasured our new-found time together once we quit the corporate life and started traveling full time. That said, after many years of travel and spending all our time together, we've rediscovered the joy of independent pursuits and catching up with each other after some time apart.
You gals are the masters at this!
I think it's a great idea. It helps round out your skillset.
Nick and I often head out on independent journeys but none have been as as long as a month. This year I went on a week-long walking tour of Halifax with a gf while he stayed at our temporary rental. And in December he went up to Lake Como for a week while I went on a Rhine Christmas markets cruise with another gf. The day may come when we take a longer break from one another but right now, neither of us have an interest in longer solo journeys.
Have you gone solo without girlfriends? That’d be a completely different experience entirely!
I’ve taken a lot of solo trips over the years while partnered (a writing workshop at Atlantic Center for the Arts, a week in a cabin in Massachusetts, a timeshare in Daytona Beach and dozens before my first marriage at the age of 26) but none completely solo since being with Nick. In thinking about it, the fact that we have both had cancer and especially the fact that he’s still living with Stage 4 diagnosis makes me not to miss a single moment with him. And I just like spending time with the guy.
Oh my, I love everything about this!! Travel is so rich and rewarding, and solo travel fills the soul. As someone who is self-employed and can work digitally from anywhere, travel is core to who I am. My husband has flexility, but not as much as me, and it's so important to take trips, even when you go it alone. I look forward to following along! :)
Thanks. While he was still working, I took a 5 month solo trip to South America. But we stayed in almost daily contact, he kept the home fires burning, and we met up in Panama half way through the trip. This is a first of both of us being solo simultaneously without a home base.
So inspiring. Thank you for taking the time to share these stories with us.
Patrick and I split up for a month last July. It was the first time we'd been apart for more than a work trip or few days ever.
Unfortunately, I had a cobblestone accident and broke my shoulder, worse than and on top of having broken it 3 weeks earlier - and had a really rough time, even with the incredible support of a couple of new girlfriends I made.
Verdict: It would have been a really good experience had that not happened. If we ever do it again, it might be for a shorter time.
I have wondered about that side of it. If one of us got hurt, would we know how to access our insurance, our records, etc. We’ve “trained” for this, but haven’t had to put it into action without each other. Hopefully it won’t be necessary. Glad you’re on the mend Iris